we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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