i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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