see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
