can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
