so explain again why im purple
no
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
