i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
