I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
