he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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