Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
