hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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