super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
