I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
