Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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