Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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