I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize