My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
