Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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