Well douche your snatch and let's go!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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