you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
