saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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