I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
