New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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