dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
