we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
