this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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