and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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