Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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