Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize