a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize