did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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