Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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