I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
