worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
