i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
