if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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