grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
