if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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