i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
