I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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