hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
