Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
