ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
