I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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