Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I will pee on everything he values.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
