I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
