butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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