I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he thought i was a dude.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
