i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize