The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Alive.
So much puke
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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