I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
