we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
