Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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