I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Help. Why am I so naked?
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