i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We are all done wearing pants today
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
