In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize