I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
