We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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