im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
