that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
