the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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