She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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