Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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