I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
