I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's blow job season.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
