The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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