Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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